Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
