I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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