question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
