This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
