BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
