the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Watching her eat just hurts me
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
