had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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