She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
this is an emotional support booty call
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
