porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
