Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
