just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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