barbara walters just said penis...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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