Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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