I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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