Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
