You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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