For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
