Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just forgot I was standing up.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
