he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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