I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
3 2 1 whiskey
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
