why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize