twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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