I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
