ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
