ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
