Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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