Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
