Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
