Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
