Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize