people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
