you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
