it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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