My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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