too bad you live with your parents still
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
