its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
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You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize