to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize