You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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