youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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