Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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