i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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