worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize