It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
