I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
