Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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