I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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