its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
