Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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