A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
