census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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