I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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