are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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