what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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