I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize