"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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