AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Pooping to opera.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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