two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
