We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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