brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
