No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
